Fear, anger and blame are emotions that can destroy us mentally, spiritually and physically. These emotions, if not properly dealt with, eventually manifest in destroyed relationships and our own physical disease. As women we tend to harbor our emotions, hold on to them and allow them to consume us and everything in our path. We dwell on those emotions because we feel justified in them and someone else has to pay for making us feel the way we do.
But what we feel is our own perception of reality and not justifiable. Our emotions are not caused by someone else. We chose them, consciously or unconsciously, as a response to circumstances and situations. When circumstances and people come into our lives that cause us to feel negative emotions we get to choose how we respond and how long we hold on to those emotions. When we respond to others in negative emotions such as anger, judgment, accusation we give our power over to the circumstance and we become attached to the feelings that come with it. We can choose to respond in anger, fueling the fire, or we can respond in love and acceptance.
When we change our perception of the circumstance and take responsibility for our responses, the negative emotions we have attached to it simply disappear. The anger, blame, guilt and shame are diffused and we are at peace with ourselves and the situation.
Magnificent Women are at peace with themselves and the world around them knowing that all conflict can be resolved with love, understanding and forgiveness. They have learned how to respond to circumstances with complete awareness, always asking themselves “how can I respond to this in a way that is best for myself and others?” They understand the destructive force of negative emotions and they choose peace.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Magnificent Women are Joyful
Do something every day that gives you joy! We have all heard that expression and indeed it is good advice. There are people, places, ideas, sights, sounds, smells and yes, even food that give us joy. Enjoy life, enjoy the pleasure that this world has too offer. But, simply indulging in pleasure won’t bring us real joy.
Joy doesn’t come from outside of us. It isn’t given to us. It is exists within our hearts and is always a part of us. Accessibility to joy is within our grasp anytime we seek it. When we are in a state of gratitude for the gifts life has provided us, then we find access to the place within us where joy resides. When our heart is open to the pleasure that comes from outside sources it stimulates the joy already within us. In a pure state of gratitude the joy radiates from our heart into every cell of our being. It radiates out of us into the world around us.
Just as joy consumes our body so does despair. Many people assume that depression is incurable can only be managed by medication, but quite the opposite is true. Simple acts of joy can actually change the chemistry in your body and mind. Negative thoughts lead to a shift in body chemistry which in turn causes depression, but studies have found that just a few simple changes in your daily lifestyle can actually reverse depression and normalize your body chemistry naturally. We lock ourselves away all day in dark offices and cubicles listening to negative stories and surrounding ourselves with negative energy. We spend our evenings and weekends in front of the television watching negative movies and listening to the news. It is now wonder our country is in an emotional crisis and looking for a quick fix.
Exercise and sunshine are of course at the top of the list for creating the normalizing hormones we all need. But, there are small things you can do everyday that make a big difference in your view of life and finding your joy. The simple act of looking a beautiful picture, smelling flowers, breathing in fresh air, watching or listening to something funny, saying Thank You, and the act of giving all improve your hormone levels. Random acts of kindness to yourself, and others deepen and strengthen the joy within you. Giving is a natural anti-depressant when given without condition. Seeing or hearing the joy of those who receive actually radiates joy within us. The more you give, however small, the more you receive the emotional reward that comes with it. The simple act of giving may save someone’s life…yours.
Being joyful isn’t a state of mind, it is a state of being. We can choose joy, accepting everything in life as a part of the beautiful experience we are in, or choose to let life drag us into despair. We get to choose how we view our lives. Choose joy!
Magnificent Women have learned that by sharing and giving of their unique gifts and talents their lives are rewarded. They know that when they spread the joy it not only impacts them, but the world around them and they gratefully give in that awareness.
Joy doesn’t come from outside of us. It isn’t given to us. It is exists within our hearts and is always a part of us. Accessibility to joy is within our grasp anytime we seek it. When we are in a state of gratitude for the gifts life has provided us, then we find access to the place within us where joy resides. When our heart is open to the pleasure that comes from outside sources it stimulates the joy already within us. In a pure state of gratitude the joy radiates from our heart into every cell of our being. It radiates out of us into the world around us.
Just as joy consumes our body so does despair. Many people assume that depression is incurable can only be managed by medication, but quite the opposite is true. Simple acts of joy can actually change the chemistry in your body and mind. Negative thoughts lead to a shift in body chemistry which in turn causes depression, but studies have found that just a few simple changes in your daily lifestyle can actually reverse depression and normalize your body chemistry naturally. We lock ourselves away all day in dark offices and cubicles listening to negative stories and surrounding ourselves with negative energy. We spend our evenings and weekends in front of the television watching negative movies and listening to the news. It is now wonder our country is in an emotional crisis and looking for a quick fix.
Exercise and sunshine are of course at the top of the list for creating the normalizing hormones we all need. But, there are small things you can do everyday that make a big difference in your view of life and finding your joy. The simple act of looking a beautiful picture, smelling flowers, breathing in fresh air, watching or listening to something funny, saying Thank You, and the act of giving all improve your hormone levels. Random acts of kindness to yourself, and others deepen and strengthen the joy within you. Giving is a natural anti-depressant when given without condition. Seeing or hearing the joy of those who receive actually radiates joy within us. The more you give, however small, the more you receive the emotional reward that comes with it. The simple act of giving may save someone’s life…yours.
Being joyful isn’t a state of mind, it is a state of being. We can choose joy, accepting everything in life as a part of the beautiful experience we are in, or choose to let life drag us into despair. We get to choose how we view our lives. Choose joy!
Magnificent Women have learned that by sharing and giving of their unique gifts and talents their lives are rewarded. They know that when they spread the joy it not only impacts them, but the world around them and they gratefully give in that awareness.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Magnificent Women are Grateful
Gratitude is the core ingredient to a rich and fulfilling life. Without it we find ourselves in a constant battle to maintain our emotional wellbeing. As women it is in our nature to nurture and care for those around us. We give to others until there is nothing left to give. We put the needs of others ahead of our own and in the process we are depleted emotionally and physically.
We've all heard the term "my cup runneth over" and "being half-empty", but what does that mean exactly? The fullness of our cup, or life, is a direct reflection of how we view ourselves and our lives. Our cup is easily kept full and overflowing when we live each day in gratitude. Staying focused on everything that is good and beautiful in our lives keeps us from arriving at that feeling of emptiness.
Unfortunately it is easier to focus on the negative: how others don't do their share of the work, what we don't have, what others have done to hurt us and the negative experiences of our past. These feelings and emotions keep us drained, unfulfilled and empty. Even when we begin to fill our cup a little bit, we pour some out, giving a bit of ourselves away because we feel guilty if we don't. The truth is that we simply cannot give what we do not have. If our cup is empty and depleted any attempts to give to others are laced with resentment.
When we stop and change our focus, everything changes. When we live our lives in a constant state of gratitude our cup begins to fill and overflow. Even when the world around us is in chaos we are filled with peace, love and joy. It is from this fullness we can give and are compelled to give. We are overflowing and when we give from the overflow, not only does it not drain us, giving in itself helps to keep us full because of the joy we receive in the process.
Magnificent Women know how to live in a constant state of gratitude. They know when to give, and how much they can afford to give. They understand how to keep themselves full, and help to fill the cup of others.
We've all heard the term "my cup runneth over" and "being half-empty", but what does that mean exactly? The fullness of our cup, or life, is a direct reflection of how we view ourselves and our lives. Our cup is easily kept full and overflowing when we live each day in gratitude. Staying focused on everything that is good and beautiful in our lives keeps us from arriving at that feeling of emptiness.
Unfortunately it is easier to focus on the negative: how others don't do their share of the work, what we don't have, what others have done to hurt us and the negative experiences of our past. These feelings and emotions keep us drained, unfulfilled and empty. Even when we begin to fill our cup a little bit, we pour some out, giving a bit of ourselves away because we feel guilty if we don't. The truth is that we simply cannot give what we do not have. If our cup is empty and depleted any attempts to give to others are laced with resentment.
When we stop and change our focus, everything changes. When we live our lives in a constant state of gratitude our cup begins to fill and overflow. Even when the world around us is in chaos we are filled with peace, love and joy. It is from this fullness we can give and are compelled to give. We are overflowing and when we give from the overflow, not only does it not drain us, giving in itself helps to keep us full because of the joy we receive in the process.
Magnificent Women know how to live in a constant state of gratitude. They know when to give, and how much they can afford to give. They understand how to keep themselves full, and help to fill the cup of others.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Magnificent Women are Compassionate
Compassion is among the greatest of all virtues according to every major religion and spiritual teaching. Stronger than empathy, which causes us to 'feel' the pain of others, compassion compels us to 'act' to relieve the pain.
It is compassion that leads us to donate our time and money to causes that uplift and support those less fortunate than ourselves, and compassion drives us to insist on the undeniable rights of others. We are able to see through their eyes and word, the suffering that only we can help to alleviate through our emotional or physical support.
But compassion is not always just for those outside of us. There may be times when we find ourselves in tremendous physical or emotional pain. Rather than asking for compassion and understanding from others or even ourselves, we dig the wounds even deeper by the judgment, justification and guilt we lay on ourselves. We disrespect ourselves by calling ourselves names and using hurtful words. We treat ourselves in a way we would never consider treating another human being.
We should feel compelled to give ourselves the emotional support we deserve, and stop the abuse. Stop the personal disrespect and begin treating ourselves with the same compassion and consideration we so willingly give others. Until we are able to heal our relationship with ourselves, how can we possibly expect to openly and honestly give to others the compassion and understanding they deserve?
Magnificent women have come to understand the power of compassion. They know that when they have compassion with themselves they are free to give it without judgment or condition to everyone around them."
It is compassion that leads us to donate our time and money to causes that uplift and support those less fortunate than ourselves, and compassion drives us to insist on the undeniable rights of others. We are able to see through their eyes and word, the suffering that only we can help to alleviate through our emotional or physical support.
But compassion is not always just for those outside of us. There may be times when we find ourselves in tremendous physical or emotional pain. Rather than asking for compassion and understanding from others or even ourselves, we dig the wounds even deeper by the judgment, justification and guilt we lay on ourselves. We disrespect ourselves by calling ourselves names and using hurtful words. We treat ourselves in a way we would never consider treating another human being.
We should feel compelled to give ourselves the emotional support we deserve, and stop the abuse. Stop the personal disrespect and begin treating ourselves with the same compassion and consideration we so willingly give others. Until we are able to heal our relationship with ourselves, how can we possibly expect to openly and honestly give to others the compassion and understanding they deserve?
Magnificent women have come to understand the power of compassion. They know that when they have compassion with themselves they are free to give it without judgment or condition to everyone around them."
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Fearless Women
The Fearless women of Agape Toastmasters.
At Agape Toastmasters we celebrated Halloween with the theme of "Overcoming Fear". A group fearless women stepped out of the box and spoke about overcoming the fear in their lives. I spoke about my fear of the Devil as a child and how that fear transferred into my adult life. How the devil, his demons and hell had consumed me and the discovery that I can choose not to let them control me. Sheri Zampeli spoke of stepping out of her closet and wearing those things that she loves but is afraid of being judged for wearing them. Linda Lloyd wore her pajamas and spoke of overcoming the perceptions that other people might have of her if she steps outside her house without being "made up". Debra Mittler spoke of overcoming the fear of "not being good enough". Cynthia Lamb came dressed as her mother and wittingly shared with us overcoming her mother's unrealistic expectations. Charmaine Shaw spoke about growing up in Jamaica and running past the cemetery each day on her way home from school. When she finally stopped running and opened her eyes, she saw nothing to be afraid of. We fearless women of Agape Toastmasters have all come to same conclusion in our lives, that fear is nothing more than our imagination and when we face our fear it has no power over us. We ended that day laughing in the face of fear. Fear actually can be funny!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Magnificent Women Are Purposeful
We were all born with the potential for greatness, with magnificence in our core. Every one of us has a purpose in this life experience. It began calling to us as a child and has always been within us. It has been calling to us all of our lives, sometimes quietly within the deepest recesses of our being, and sometimes screaming out with obvious resolution. Within each of us we recognize that we are special with our own unique gifts and passions.
Each of us discovers ourselves and our purpose when the time is right for us. Some are fortunate to find it when they are quite young and spend their entire lives doing what they love. For the rest of us the road to self discovery is a bumpy one. It is a process of failures and mistakes along the way. As we learn what we don’t want we come closer to understanding what we do want.
For many of us our complete awareness of who we are comes to us at a major crossroads in our lives. It comes with a full stop breakdown of everything we thought we knew. The breakdown forces us to take a long pause and come to terms with what life has caused us to become. It forces us to face who we are and where we want to go. When we quiet our minds, shut off the chaos around us and go deep within ourselves, we begin to feel a tug in our core. It is our life purpose calling to us. Our life purpose is a combination of our unique gifts and the lessons we have learned along the way. And, it is the awareness of how we can use who we have become to change our lives and the world around us.
When we determine to live life “on purpose” the way presents itself as if by cosmic intervention. When we live our lives “on purpose” rather than by default we begin to see every experience as an opportunity for growth. We stay connected to ourselves and the messages from within. We are focused and purposeful, always asking “how does this experience fit into my life purpose and how can I use it to become the person I am striving to become?”
What separates truly magnificent women from the masses is that they have fully embraced who they really are and have discovered their life purpose. It is from the place of awareness of who they are, what they want and where they are going that they can focus on creating a life that is purpose driven.
Each of us discovers ourselves and our purpose when the time is right for us. Some are fortunate to find it when they are quite young and spend their entire lives doing what they love. For the rest of us the road to self discovery is a bumpy one. It is a process of failures and mistakes along the way. As we learn what we don’t want we come closer to understanding what we do want.
For many of us our complete awareness of who we are comes to us at a major crossroads in our lives. It comes with a full stop breakdown of everything we thought we knew. The breakdown forces us to take a long pause and come to terms with what life has caused us to become. It forces us to face who we are and where we want to go. When we quiet our minds, shut off the chaos around us and go deep within ourselves, we begin to feel a tug in our core. It is our life purpose calling to us. Our life purpose is a combination of our unique gifts and the lessons we have learned along the way. And, it is the awareness of how we can use who we have become to change our lives and the world around us.
When we determine to live life “on purpose” the way presents itself as if by cosmic intervention. When we live our lives “on purpose” rather than by default we begin to see every experience as an opportunity for growth. We stay connected to ourselves and the messages from within. We are focused and purposeful, always asking “how does this experience fit into my life purpose and how can I use it to become the person I am striving to become?”
What separates truly magnificent women from the masses is that they have fully embraced who they really are and have discovered their life purpose. It is from the place of awareness of who they are, what they want and where they are going that they can focus on creating a life that is purpose driven.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Magnificent Women Are Powerful
The word “power” for most of us congers up images of politicians, dictators and weapons of war. That kind of power is negative and destructive, and comes from a place of fear. It is not real power, but force. The schoolyard bully who pushes the other kids around to make himself feel bigger and better quickly backs down and the anger melts away when he is confronted with love and understanding.
We have all heard that “love is the most powerful thing in the world” and songs have been written about the “power of love”. It may sound like a cliché or lyrics with no real meaning, but in fact, positive power, the power that originates from love and understanding is far more powerful than fear based power.
Fear based power destroys and breaks down relationships leaving a trail of pain and emptiness in its wake and must continue to deplete everything it touches to stay alive. Love based power unites and strengthens everything it touches, making it even more powerful. The study of “new physics” is beginning to prove with scientific evidence that indeed love does conquer fear.
Negative emotion carries a lower energy vibration than positive emotion. You can feel the difference yourself when you feel negative vs. positive emotions. Negative emotions are physically draining, making you feel sluggish and tired. Positive emotions are physically energizing making you feel alive and renewed. We have all experienced a surge of positive energy when we are surrounded by a group positive people.
That is the power of love in its simplest state. According to the study of new physics the positive power of one person can counteract the negative power of 200 people. Never underestimate what one person can do in a climate of change.
The source of greatest power is in unconditional love, the love that exists without expectation or condition resides in our core, our solar plexus. It is there for us to access anytime we feel inspired to call on it. Love breeds creativity and the ability to see beyond what is into what is possible. The greater your ability to connect with your core energy the greater you are able to be an agent for change.
Each one of us touches the lives of hundreds of people every day through direct or indirect contact. What kind of energy are you emulating? When we tap into our person power and embrace it, that is when we discover how truly magnicent we are. When we share it openly and freely we have the ability to change hundreds of lives. With every act of kindness and even with the simple act of a smile we allow everyone we meet to tap into their own personal power.
Love is indeed the most powerful thing in the world!
We have all heard that “love is the most powerful thing in the world” and songs have been written about the “power of love”. It may sound like a cliché or lyrics with no real meaning, but in fact, positive power, the power that originates from love and understanding is far more powerful than fear based power.
Fear based power destroys and breaks down relationships leaving a trail of pain and emptiness in its wake and must continue to deplete everything it touches to stay alive. Love based power unites and strengthens everything it touches, making it even more powerful. The study of “new physics” is beginning to prove with scientific evidence that indeed love does conquer fear.
Negative emotion carries a lower energy vibration than positive emotion. You can feel the difference yourself when you feel negative vs. positive emotions. Negative emotions are physically draining, making you feel sluggish and tired. Positive emotions are physically energizing making you feel alive and renewed. We have all experienced a surge of positive energy when we are surrounded by a group positive people.
That is the power of love in its simplest state. According to the study of new physics the positive power of one person can counteract the negative power of 200 people. Never underestimate what one person can do in a climate of change.
The source of greatest power is in unconditional love, the love that exists without expectation or condition resides in our core, our solar plexus. It is there for us to access anytime we feel inspired to call on it. Love breeds creativity and the ability to see beyond what is into what is possible. The greater your ability to connect with your core energy the greater you are able to be an agent for change.
Each one of us touches the lives of hundreds of people every day through direct or indirect contact. What kind of energy are you emulating? When we tap into our person power and embrace it, that is when we discover how truly magnicent we are. When we share it openly and freely we have the ability to change hundreds of lives. With every act of kindness and even with the simple act of a smile we allow everyone we meet to tap into their own personal power.
Love is indeed the most powerful thing in the world!
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